


chaotic / jeongsa

by kimhyunas



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-23 10:57:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15604782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimhyunas/pseuds/kimhyunas
Summary: "chaotic.""my heart is off time."-when people die they go to a limbo area in which they choose a memory and then relive that memory forevermore. jeongyeon has been assigned to help her ex, sana, choose a memory.(heavily based on the japanese movie, 'afterlife' + also on asianfanfics, my username there is: ilovkimhyuna)





	1. Chapter 1

01: MONDAY 

 

sana passed away two weeks ago. she was buried last night. a drunk driver and sana not paying attention when she crossed the road had lead to her death. she could remember every single detail about the events that followed after — the schoolgirls calling the ambulance, the paramedics declaring her dead, her family coming to visit, her funeral. she was quite annoyed at the fact that everyone at her funeral was sombre; she distinctly remembered telling one of her cousins that when she died she wanted everyone to party and have fun at her funeral. they hadn't listened and instead they had cried continuously throughout the whole affair. 

when sana died it was like she had left her body: she could see a group of schoolgirls screaming as they surrounded a girl who looked exactly like her. it was in that minute that she realised it was her. amazingly she wasn't surprised — she thought it was pretty cool. but then she realised that she was dead and would never walk the earth ever again, not very cool. she had been buried last night, the last person leaving her grave was her girlfriend. she had refused to leave and was dragged away, sobbing, by one of her cousins. sana bit her lip, feeling the familiar prick behind her eyes, but to her surprise no tears ran down her face. 

when she had walked away sana yawned as if the whole process had tired her out and closed his eyes. soon she fell asleep. hours later her eyes snapped on and she let out the loudest scream — she was not in her grave anymore, she was standing outside a large, abandoned building. well, not abandoned. on both sides of her people were walking towards the building, marching quickly; some looked frightened like her, while others looked as if they were just going on their daily stroll. not sure whether to follow them or not, she remained still. until she heard her name being called. looking around for the owner of the voice, she recognised her old neighbour.

 

"mrs. kim?" she sprinted towards her, putting her arm into hers as she had always done when she was helping her across the road or with her shopping. "what are you doing here?" 

she laughed, which, unusually, wasn't followed by lots of coughing. "don't you know where we are?"

sana's head shook, the earrings she had on bouncing in time with it. "i don't know. the afterlife, maybe? is this, heaven?" 

another laugh escaped her mouth and she patted sana's cheek fondly, as she done when she was alive. "i'm dead, sana. i died a few days after you but your funeral took longer because the police needed to investigate. i just died because of my asthma — that was obvious. anyways, this is limbo." 

"limbo?" 

"when i was younger my grandmother used to tell me that when you died you would move on to limbo and then, there you would meet a helper." she explained, as they started walking toward the building. "they would help you choose a memory from your life, your happiest memory, and then you would relive that memory forevermore." 

"seriously?" 

sana was in disbelief. she believed some strange theories himself like that time where her and her friend, momo, watched a show and then were convinced that life was simulation and that they would wake up any time soon. but honestly, to her, that sounded more plausible than this. so everyone would come here and get to choose a memory and be, what, happy forever? wouldn't they get bored? what about the people who were evil in their life — murderers, and others like that; would there be no justice for them? 

"it's confusing, i know." mrs. kim commented, as they neared the grey building. "but in time you will understand. so start thinking of the happiest time of your life!" 

sana laughed, "there's been a lot of happy times in my life. it'll be too hard to decide." 

"what about that time," she was now smiling, mischievously. "i saw you and that girl, jeongyeon, making out? and then i invited you both in and we watched the end of year festival?" 

her face blazed red at the mention of jeongyeon. months ago, she had been dating a friend of hers: jeongyeon. she was cute, tall and the best kisser; sana honestly thought she was in love with her. she spent day after day with her, they planned a future together but as all good things do, things came to an end. an argument escalated and they broke up. sana felt horrible and did everything in her power to contact jeongyeon but her heart broke to see that she had blocked on her on everything possible. jeongyeon even went as far to start taking a complete new route to her school that would take her an extra hour, just to avoid seeing sana. 

a few months later and sana was distraught to find out that jeongyeon had died. she spent days holed up in her room, not being able to believe that the love of her life was dead. she had wanted to be with her so bad and was content with her not being her girlfriend or friend but dead? sana couldn't bear to think about a world where jeongyeon wasn't living on the other side of the city. to add insult to the injury, she didn't get invited to the funeral. but minutes before it finished, momo texted her to inform of where it was so sana arrived, hours after everyone, and paid her respects. 

she'd never cried that much. 

a month later she met a girl, they hit off and they started dating. she was like the female version of her: they were so similar sometimes it was unnerving. but she was sweet and sana didn't have it in her to break her heart. and besides, she saw it as an opportunity to move on from jeongyeon. she just couldn't though; whenever she kissed her, she pictured jeongyeon, her hands reminded her of jeongyeon's. 

she knew she hadn't moved on from the ever joking girl, that was obvious. but it was also obvious that they were never going to get back together so she would have to move on. and if that meant dating a girl who was her literal twin, then so be it. 

"hurry up!" mrs. kim nudged her, snapping her out of his daydream. "we're the last people." 

sana gazed around and saw she was right, the group of bustling people had all entered the building and the only two left out were them. she fastened his pace and seconds later they had entered the building. a man stood behind the desk and motioned for them to come over. 

"kim, hyori." mrs. kim introduced herself and sana giggled, she had never know her first name and she had no idea it'd be hyori — an image of mrs. kim as the singer lee hyori entered her mind and she quickly shook off the thought. 

"minatozaki, sana." she said, and the man looked at her before marking something on a piece of paper down below. 

he then pointed towards a door which led them to a room, full of chairs. sana assumed it was a waiting area but there was nobody waiting; all the others must've gone inside, she thought, checking around. picking a seat opposite a door she sat down, mrs. kim placing herself next to her. soon one of the doors in the room opened and mrs. kim's name was called. blowing a goodbye kiss to sana, she disappeared inside it. 

"sana." she heard, as another door opened. 

the voice who had called her wasn't visible but sana knew who it was straight away — it had to be jeongyeon. she felt as if her heart was hammering which she knew was impossible but there was something beating wildly in her chest. her hands were becoming sweaty, her face turning pale as she walked towards the slightly open door. 

"welcom—," the voice began but cut off as they soon made eye contact with sana. 

it was jeongyeon. but not as sana had known her; she was glowing an unearthly shade of pale, reminding sana of edward cullen, and, for once, was out of her school uniform. she was instead wearing a shirt and trousers, looking as if she'd just returned from work. sana's breath was caught as she stared her ex-girlfriend down, taking in every single part of the girl she had missed for so long. 

"i m-missed you." she managed to stutter out, the words tumbling out of her mouth. 

the familiar prick behind her eyes returned and soon, tears were flowing down her cheeks. she turned around, facing the door she had entered, taking a minute to compose herself. no way had she ever thought that she'd be coming face to face with her dead ex-girlfriend. this was a scenario straight out of her dreams — or nightmares. 

"why did you ignore me?" she spat out, turning back around. "what the actual fuck? dumping me because we argued once? and then shutting me out of your life, completely? that was fucking harsh!" 

spit flew out of her mouth, slapping against the floor while jeongyeon remained frozen. it was as if she hadn't heard sana's words, choosing to instead walk past her and towards the desk in the center of the room. sana's eyes followed her, clearly astounded that she'd ignored her entire speech. a frown forming on her now red face, she continued to keep her gaze on the pale girl. jeongyeon seemed immune to this and pointed to the chair opposite her, gesturing for sana to sit. 

reluctantly, she did. 

"you have died." jeongyeon began, placing her hands onto the desk. 

"no shit, sherlock." sana hissed, her stare venomous. 

"you have died." she repeated, ignoring sana's interruption. "and moved on to here: this is the destination before your last one. here, i will help you choose a memory. one memory, your favourite memory and we will help you recreate it. this will be done by the next monday. you will watch that memory once and then enter it — reliving it forevermore." 

"does this happen to everyone?" sana asked, tilting her head to the side. 

"yes." jeongyeon nodded, still not having made eye contact with sana. "everyone who dies comes to one of these places, there is a few in every country across the world, and chooses a memory." 

confused, sana asked, "why are you here, then? you died ages ago." 

jeongyeon finally looked up, her eyes gazing into sana's. they were a light brown, but the usual flicker behind them had been wiped out. they remained still, jeonyeon rarely blinking, as if they were gazing through sana. 

"that's none of your business." jeongyeon mumbled, losing her confident demeanour. "we're here to discuss your favourite memory. i have a few of your favourite memories here, in a folder, and we can discuss them, help you choose—," 

"i don't want to choose." sana folded her arms, her signature pout forming. "you didn't, so neither will i."

jeongyeon's mouth became a straight line, her forehead creasing. "you need to move on, sana. you don't belong in this world, anymore." 

rolling his eyes, sana stood up; she surveyed the room, there was a photo of jeongyeon and her parents, a photo of jeongyeon as a child with her sister and a small, crinkled photo of jeongyeon and sana at the beach. seeing it made sana's heart lurch — she suddenly remembered the feel of jeongyeon's lips, the way she wrapped her arms around her waist, the laughter after they kissed. she had promised herself that if she ever saw jeongyeon again, she would be honest about her feelings, tell her about how she really felt: because you only lived once, and this was her one chance before she left and lost her, again. 

taking a deep breath, she turned around, "by the way, i still love you. i always will love you. and i know we can work this out — this my one chance to be with you and i'm not going to leave this place, choose a memory or whatever, until we fix things." 

not bothering to see jeongyeon's face, she exited from the room. 

 

-

 

"i chose a memory!" mrs. kim excitedly announced to sana. 

it was an hour after she'd left jeongyeon. she couldn't shake off the crushing feeling that was dragging her down, the feeling she'd felt only once before — heartbreak. after leaving she'd waited outside the door mrs. kim has entered. unlike him, she had emerged smiling, the moonlight streaming through the door making her look goddess-like. sana was now in the room she had been assigned too, attempting to look pleased for her. 

"what memory was it?" she asked, gazing up at the old woman. 

"my daughter's wedding!" she gleamed. "i was so pleased for her! and that's when i met my husband — you know the man i lived with? we spent the entire night dancing and drinking. i've never been so happy." 

"that's beautiful." sana whispered, she had only ever attended one wedding before and she was too young to remember it. 

"well, what about you?" she asked, her eyes inquisitive. 

"i didn't choose." she mumbled, looking downcast. "couldn't be bothered." 

"or was it that you bumped into your ex-girlfriend and you lost it?" she sat back, peering out of her glasses at her reaction. 

sana remained frozen for a second before bursting into tears. her sobs grew louder and she was sure the people next door could hear her. mrs kim pulled her into her chest, mumbling soothing words but they did not help — she didn't want to be here, she wanted to move on from jeongyeon, she didn't want to choose a memory. sana wanted to go back to the day she argued with jeongyeon and prevent it from happening. sana wanted to start over. 

she fell asleep on mrs kim's lap. 

 

-

 

jeongyeon entered the staff room, slamming the door behind her; an alert to everyone in there that the usually smiley girl was furious. her coworkers, other people who had died and were unable to choose a memory so instead helped others choose one, began busying themselves: nobody wanted to be at the end of her wrath. 

"jeongyeon, please don't slam that door, you know it's on its last hinges." nayeon muttered, not looking up from her pile of letters. 

nayeon had been there for years, or centuries as some said. she had never been able to choose a memory as she wasn't felt it was his time to move on and instead chose to help others move on. when they picked a memory, the staff scoured for a video of it so they could watch it and then they spent days looking for everything to help recreate it. if you chose your wedding, they'd fly across the world to bring the exact flowers, look for the exact clothes you wore, making sure everything was exactly the way it happened. 

"why did you assign me to sana?" jeongyeon hissed. "you knew who she was." 

"i assigned you to her," nayeon explained. "because it would benefit you as well as her. you've been very sad here, your facade is quite easy to see through, jeongyeon. you missed her and i bought you to her. your time here is coming to an end, it's time for you to move on." 

"move on?" jeongyeon repeated. 

"your time to choose a memory has come, jeongyeon." nayeon was blunt, "sana, whether you believe it or not, will help you choose a memory. you will find true happiness and be able to move on." 

"all this is going to happen within a week?" jeongyeon scoffed, folding her arms. "unlikely!" 

she huffed, shooting a glare at a coworker who made the mistake of making eye contact with her and left the room. leaving the entire building, she stamped her way through the snow, ignoring the disgusting squelching sound her boots were making. plopping herself on a bench, she tucked her hands into her armpits to warm them up before letting out a long sigh. 

when sana had confessed his feelings to him before she left, jeongyeon had felt euphoric. she had broken up with her because she was scared; scared that the younger girl would realise she could do better and leave her. so she chose to hurt her rather than hurt herself. it was a decision she regretted greatly. she spent months crying herself to sleep; avoiding seeing sana because she knew that she'd confess the truth to her and she'd knew sana would hate her. 

"i'm a selfish idiot." she whispered, kicking a ball of snow. 

sighing again, she looked upwards, craning her neck to look at the moon. it gleamed brightly, as if it was twinkling at her and she huffed at it. the sky was clear and she could see the odd star; she remembered how sana stopped to make a wish whenever she saw a star. one night, they stopped, literally, a million times so sana could make a wish. jeongyeon bugged her constantly, asking for what she wished and sana's only reply was, 'to keep something i'm looking at right now.' jeongyeon would blush, sana would lightly kiss her and then she would blush. jeongyeon smiled as she reminisced the memory. 

she looked back towards the building and stared at sana's window. the lights were off and the curtains remained open. a figure peeped out of the next door window and jeongyeon recognised it as sana's neighbour, and basically other mother, mrs. kim. she waved and winked before disappearing; behind her a figure stood, and jeongyeon stared into it's eyes before standing up and walking back towards the building. 

gazing up at the moon once more, she waved at the still-watching figure before disappearing inside.


	2. chapter two

02: TUESDAY 

 

there was an enormous hall, where everyone was gathered. some were talking to friends who had recently passed away, while others were making new friends. sana scanned the hall to see mrs. kim laughing away with a woman around her age. she was about to make a beeline towards her when she felt someone tap her shoulder. turning around, she came face to face with the person she loved the most. 

jeongyeon. 

“come outside with me.” jeongyeon tilted her head to the side, as if it was a question rather than a statement. 

rolling her eyes at her cuteness, sana nodded and looked at mrs. kim once more, before following her ex-girlfriend out. the doors were wide open and a few people were outside, having fights in the snow. a young girl was making a snow angel, a boy around her age making one next to her. sana smiled fondly, remembering when her and momo used to do this when seoul was covered in snow. 

out of the corner of her eye she saw jeongyeon staring at her, her brown eyes warm. quickly, turning to face her she winked before turning away again. having no idea as to why she embarrassed herself like that, she quickly walked outside into the freezing cold. jeongyeon followed behind her and soon enough, sana felt a snowball hit her back. 

a snow war ensued and for a while the two forget about everything else and just focused on throwing snow at each other. both finally gave up after falling to the ground for the millionth time, scooting over to each other so they now sat down, side by side. resting her head on jeongyeon’s shoulder allowed sana to feel comfortable for once; she felt as if, in this moment, nothing else mattered except her and jeongyeon. she heard jeongyeon humming to herself, and giggled as she realised the familiar song. 

“almost paradise.” she sang, stretching her pronunciation of the last syllable. 

“you really cannot sing, babe.” sana laughed, ruffling jeongyeon’s snow-soaked hair. 

ignoring the fact that sana had just called her babe, jeongyeon focused on the task at hand: defending her amazing singing. 

“i’m a great singer, thank you very much.” the pout returned to her face. 

sana opened her mouth to reply but chose not to; instead the two sat in a comfortable silence. jeongyeon thought back to the last time they’d been together — the day of the argument. it was strange, she thought, that it had all ended over one argument, they had argued multiple times before but this time she had chosen to finish it off. her reason was her anxiety: she didn’t want to be left lonely again, she didn’t want to fall in love with sana for her to leave her for someone better. 

someone had already done that her and she didn’t need it again. but she knew that sana had at least deserved some sort of explanation. she’d heard from mutuals friends that she hadn’t been doing too well and that had left her reeling in guilt. but, telling herself that it was all for the best, she had let it go — let sana go. since that day, she had done everything in her power to try and forgot about sana, removing anything that reminded her of the younger girl. 

but it didn’t work. 

sana was the one thing she thought about consistently. she woke up and her first thought was sana, she went to sleep and her last thought was sana. the memories of their relationship were always on her mind and she couldn’t go an hour, let alone five minutes, without thinking about them. slowly, she began to close up, losing her signature smile. spending day after day in her bedroom, she began to ignore her friends and then her family. it was as if she was being swallowed up in guilt. 

knowing that all she had to was unblock sana and text her, the idea of fixing their relationship seemed so easy. but jeongyeon had been very apprehensive. what if sana had moved on? she’d be embarrassing herself completely by texting her out of the blue, so she chose not to. but she’d find herself awake in the middle of the night, tears running down her face, as she texted sana. a text she erased before she could hit the send button.

“i’m sorry.” she whispered, a part of her hoping sana wouldn’t hear. 

“for what?” sana knew exactly what jeongyeon was apologising for, but she wanted a proper explanation — she deserved one. 

“for leaving.” jeongyeon mumbled, “i fucked up. i wasn’t mad, i was just worried. my anxiety took over and i thought you were gonna break my heart, so i left you.” 

sana remained silent for a minute before saying, “so you falsely assumed that i’d break your heart and chose to break mine first?” 

jeongyeon’s eyes begun to fill with her tears, and her head dropped down. small sobs began emitting from her and soon enough, her entire body had begun to shake, with tears pooling down her face. instinctively, sana reached forward and pulled jeongyeon into her lap, murmuring into her ear. 

“i-i’m sorry, so sorry.” jeongyeon kept on repeating, as she sobbed into sana’s chest. 

“it’s okay, babe.” sana whispered, but jeongyeon noted her voice was different. 

she wiped her eyes and looked up, making eye contact with the younger girl. the warmth in sana’s eyes had disappeared and was instead replaced by a look of contempt. 

“sana?” jeongyeon peered at her, “are you mad at me?” 

“no, of course not!” sana’s eyes widened in an attempt to look as if she wasn’t at all upset, but jeongyeon knew better. 

“i know you, sana.” enclasping their hands together, jeongyeon pulled sana forward. “you’re mad.” 

“you don’t know me at all.” sana hissed, freeing her hand from jeongyeon’s. “if you knew me, you’d have known how much i loved you. i cared for you more than anything and you just fucking left. why would i have left you for someone better when you were the best? you didn’t even bother telling me why you were leaving me, you just cut me off. i thought of you every single day and did everything i could to contact you! and then finding out you had died, that really broke me. and i blamed myself, i wished i had tried harder to contact you so that maybe we could’ve fixed things and that you wouldn’t have died. i spent everyday crying and thinking of you. if you knew me at fucking all, jeongyeon, you wouldn’t have broken my heart.” 

sana let out a long breath, and, like jeongyeon, her eyes began to leak. standing up, she wiped the snow off herself and started to walk back towards the building, ignoring the nasty squelching sound her feet were making. she was right outside the door, when an arm grabbed her and swung her back. 

“let go, jeongyeon.” sana didn’t even bother to look up at the blonde-haired girl. 

“no, please.” jeongyeon’s voice was shaky, her eyes and nose both red. “i’m sorry, and i-i love you, okay? please let me fix things, before you move on, please.” 

sana pushed jeongyeon’s hands off her once again, “i just want to be alone.” 

“but—” jeongyeon began but was cut off by sana. 

“no. i want space, okay? maybe i was wrong. maybe you and me weren’t meant to be. maybe the memory i choose won’t be a memory of us. i’m sorry but you really broke my heart and i just need to be alone, this is all too much.” as sana spoke she now became aware that she had an audience: the children who had been making snow angels now had their eyes fixed on the lovers. 

“space?” jeongyeon laughed, but it didn’t come out right and instead sounded more like a cackle. “you’ve got until monday, sana, and then you’re fucking gone. they want you to choose a memory by saturday, so you can film it on sunday and leave on monday. and then we won’t see each other ever again! but whatever! you can have all the fucking space you want.” 

 

she stormed back inside, leaving sana alone in the cold. the younger girl realised that time was running out but she really had been upset about jeongyeon’s explanation for dumping her. it made her feel like an inadequate girlfriend; like she hadn’t loved jeongyeon enough, like she hadn’t reassured her enough and made her insecurities go away. deep inside, a part of sana knew she had messed up. yeah, she admitted to herself, there were times when she’d flirt with others. but it was all in a joking nature and she always made it up to jeongyeon in the end, so what was the problem? 

“oh, fuck.” she whispered, not wanting the children to hear. “i really did fuck up.” 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

back inside the staff room, jeongyeon was playing noughts and crosses with a colleague, jihyo. jihyo had arrived about a year before jeongyeon and was assigned to show her the ropes. during the first month of training, jeongyeon had fallen for her but then had given it up after jihyo had confessed her never-dying love for her ex. 

“i’m just waiting for him to die, but like, not in a sadistic way.” she had told jeongyeon. “then i can be here, you know we can confess, we both still love each other, choose memories of each other and then it’s happy ever after.” 

jeongyeon had grunted in reply. 

“just like what you want with your ex, sana!” jihyo had smiled, laughing when jeongyeon began to protest. “i know you still love her, so don’t give up hope, anything’s possible!” 

back inside the staff room, jihyo was winning. she rarely won since jeongyeon was good at every single game they played but today jeongyeon didn’t have the energy to try. so she let herself lose again, and again. her thoughts were occupied with the events that had occurred with sana and she really could care less about playing some game. 

“jesus,” jihyo whistled. “that’s four games in a row i’ve won now, i’m like, fucking amazing.” 

“mmm.” jeongyeon mumbled, putting her head on the desk. 

“what’s wrong?” jihyo stabbed jeongyeon’s cheek with her pinky. “reunion with sana not going well?” 

“is it that obvious?” jeongyeon sighed, quickly brushing away the tears that were attempting to well up in her eyes again. 

“well yeah, and besides, i could hear you arguing from here.” jihyo shrugged her shoulders, before beginning to imitate the couple.

“i’m so sorry, sana!” 

“i want space!” 

“you’ve got until fucking monday, but whatever!” 

jihyo laughed, “jesus, you two are fucked. but when you left, sana did look a bit remorseful. so maybe all isn’t lost.” 

jeongyeon jumped up, “remorseful?” 

“yep,” jihyo nodded, “i think she felt bad and i think she understands that she hasn’t got long left. well, unless, she decides not to move on and stay here with you but i doubt she’ll do that.” 

“what makes you doubt it?” jeongyeon frowned, would sana really choose another memory and leave her? 

“because, you idiot, you two will have it all sorted out by then. and then you’ll choose a memory and blah blah, it’s happily ever after.” jihyo smiled. 

jeongyeon didn’t, “we won’t. sana is stubborn and she won’t apologise, and i’m not wrong so i won’t apologise either, so things won’t be fixed and she’ll choose a different memory and just leave me. and i’ll never had happiness.” 

“jesus, do you have to be so pessimistic?” jihyo rolled her eyes, “just leave it to all me, okay? let me sort it out, i’m pretty much an expert when it comes to relationships.” 

“you’ve literally dated one person.” jeongyeon sighed, “you know zilch.” 

“shut up!” jihyo punched jeongyeon’s shoulder, “would it kill you to say thank you?” 

“thank you.” jeongyeon ruefully smiled, “let’s just hope you don’t fuck it up.”

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

inside mrs. kim’s room sana was narrating the events that had occurred. when she finished, she let out a large sigh and threw herself on the bed, putting the pillow over her face. she’d only been here for two days and she’d had experienced more drama then she’d had in her entire life. one thing she deeply regretted was telling jeongyeon she wasn’t going to choose a memory of her. that was fucking stupid. of course she was; she loved jeongyeon more than anything and time spent with her was the best. 

she thought back to their dates, their trips and the time they had gone on holiday with jeongyeon’s family. a faint smile appeared on her lips as she remembered teaching jeongyeon how to swim, having a date underneath the stars, and getting lost in their hotel. there was no doubt in sana’s mind that jeongyeon made her happy — she was a big believer in the idea that everyone had soulmates and jeongyeon was hers. 

“she tried to apologise and i just fucked it up.” sana mumbled, “it’s all over.” 

“i don’t think so.” mrs. kim giggled, “definitely not.” 

confused, sana sat up, “what do you mean and why are you laughing? i really don’t see what’s funny about my one chance to get the love of my life back getting ruined because i decided to be a stubborn little bi—” 

she became silent when she realised that mrs. kim wasn’t even looking at her, let alone listening. instead the old woman was looking out of the window, a large smile across her face. wondering what was going on outside, sana hopped off the bed, and went over to the window. 

the words ‘sana, i love you, will you take me back?’ had been written in enormous letters in the snow. next to it, a girl with twinkling eyes was waving up at mrs. kim and sana. next to her was jeongyeon, but unlike the girl, she wasn’t staring up at the window and instead, was more focused on her feet. this quickly changed when the girl elbowed her, and jeongyeon’s hand quickly flew up and begun to wave. 

“come down!” miss-twinkling-eyes shouted, ignoring jeongyeon protesting next to her. 

sprinting down the steps, two at time, sana reached the ground floor in seconds. mrs. kim eventually got down about a minute or so later, and sana grabbed her, pulling her out into the snow. they both immediately regretted not bringing jackets with them, as it was beyond freezing. 

jeongyeon was wearing a jacket and a woolly hat but her arms were wrapped around herself in an attempt to keep warm, so her heart automatically melted when she saw sana’s nose turn pink from the cold. she smiled to herself, with her smile growing larger when sana smiled back. she was snapped out of her trance by a sharp elbowing in the ribs, courtesy of jihyo. 

“jesus, stop smiling and talk to her.” jihyo hissed, “it’s so cold out here.” 

“i can’t talk to her.” jeongyeon protested, “what will i say?” 

“you can’t talk to her, but you can eye fuck her?” jihyo let out a laugh, “just tell you’re sorry and kiss and we’ll all be back inside in a few minutes.” 

“eye fuck?” jeongyeon gasped, “i was so not! i was just smiling cause she looked cute. and besides, i can’t say that, that’s too cheesy.” 

“too cheesy?” jihyo repeated, “i put in all this hard work and effort by writing that out for you in the freezing, cold snow and it’s too cheesy?” 

sana felt a surge of jealousy as the two girls continued arguing. who was that twinkling-eyes girl? how did she know jeongyeon? and what were they talking about? their conversation seemed natural and it just reminded sana that she and jeongyeon hadn’t had a normal conversation in nearly a year. 

“ugh.” she hissed, sticking her arms in her pits. “what the heck does that girl want with her?” 

“she’s very pretty,” mrs. kim commented. “lovely eyes and gorgeous cheekbones.” 

“thanks, mrs. kim, just what i needed!” sana rolled her eyes. 

the two girls began to walk over and sana straightened up, sweeping her hair back. her heart lurched as she made eye contact with jeongyeon; she had told jeongyeon this a million times while they were dating but she thought that she had the most exquisite eyes. every single part of jeongyeon was perfect to sana. but her mood quickly soured as jihyo began to cling onto jeongyeon’s arm. ugh, get off, she thought, a pout surfacing on her face. 

“hey.” jeongyeon smiled, as they finally reached sana. 

“hi.” 

an awkward silence followed until jihyo elbowed jeongyeon. 

“uh, so do you like the sign thingy?” jeongyeon let out a tiny laugh. 

before sana could speak jihyo interjected, “i made it! it’s so cute, right? i love romantic things like this!” 

“i love romantic things like this, too!” mrs. kim clapped her hands. “how about you and i go discuss it some more, upstairs? give these two some privacy.” 

“cool!” jihyo smiled, blowing jeongyeon a kiss, sending sana a wave, and interlinking her and mrs. kim’s arms. 

“you know for someone who’s dead, she’s awfully cheerful.” sana mumbled, as the two women walked off leaving the couple alone. 

“she’s been here for ages. you kinda get used to it, you know?” jeongyeon motioned for sana to sit on the snow. “she’s real nice, honestly.” 

“whatever.” 

“god, you’re so jealous, aren’t you?” jeongyeon laughed. 

“i am not!” sana protested, crossing her arms. “you can flirt with whoever, i don’t care!”

“hm, really?” jeongyeon had a mischievous glint in her eyes. “i could see the jealousy pouring out of you from a mile away.”

“could not!” 

the two continued to argue and laugh, and eventually began to sit closer to each other until jeongyeon’s head was resting on sana’s lap. 

“i’m so sorry.” she mumbled, “i really love you, sana. i’m just an idiot.” 

“no, i’m the idiot.” sana shook her head, “i messed up too. all i want is for us to be happy together.” 

“me too.” 

“and i’m sorry i said i wouldn’t choose a memory of you, that was a lie. who else would i want to spend forever with?” sana bent down to kiss jeongyeon’s forehead. “i want nobody, but you.” 

“don’t go all sappy and quote the wonder girls on me.” jeongyeon laughed. 

“way to kill the moment!” sana pouted. 

“will this fix it?” jeongyeon asked, as she sat up and pulled sana in for a kiss.

by the time she had pulled away sana was a bright red, and so was jeongyeon. she had missed sana’s lips so much; they were soft and gentle and kissing them made jeongyeon feel like she was the luckiest girl on earth. 

even though she technically wasn’t on earth. 

“that was....amazing.” sana’s eyes were wide, “you really are the best kisser.” 

“i know.” jeongyeon smirked, “i’m just great at everything.” 

“well, now i’m horny!” sana laughed, standing up. “let’s go to my room!” 

“we’ve literally been back together for ten minutes and you already want to sleep together?” jeongyeon laughed. 

“shut up!” sana punched her arm, “now let’s go to my room and you can sit on my face!” 

“that sounds great.” jeongyeon stood up and the two girls giggled until they reached sana’s room, the moon shining brightly above them.


	3. Chapter 3

03: WEDNESDAY 

 

sana was bored. mrs. kim had made friends with a group of women around her age and was in a corner of the room, talking with them. sana had debated on joining the conversation but then realised she didn’t have much in common with them and the conversation would just be awkward. jeongyeon was busy working, helping people go through memories that she thought they should choose and sana didn’t want to disturb her. 

which left her all alone. 

she could roam the grounds, but knowing herself she figured she’d get lost, and spend hours trying to return to mrs. kim’s room. sighing, she tried to listen in to what mrs. kim and her newly-found friends were discussing. 

“hm, i remember getting a tv.” one of the women laughed, “we were the first people in our building to get one and the entire building came down to watch it with us!” 

jesus, sana thought, how old are they? sighing, again, she stood up and announced to the room that she was going to look around the place and would be back soon. shutting the door behind her, she started walking up the stairs to the next floor. she reached it, and walked down the corridors to see there were no doors, no windows, nothing. just an empty corridor. 

confused, she took the stairs upwards again and reached the next floor which turned to be completely identical to the one underneath it. sana kept on going, passing three more floors that were exactly the same, until she reached a floor which had a door at the end of the corridor. 

don’t open the door, the logical side of her brain told her, anything could be behind it. sana ignored it, she was already dead so it wasn’t like whatever was on the other side of the door could kill her and besides when did she ever listen to the logical side of her brain anyways? 

 

pushing the door open, it swung back to reveal the roof. sana hadn’t realised that she had reached the roof, she thought there were a few more floors to go before she reached it. it was completely empty except for a figure sitting in the corner, their legs dangling over the edge. 

cautious to not petrify them, sana walked closer slowly. on closer inspection, she realised she had the person before. it was the girl who was with jeongyeon the night before, the one who had written the message in the snow for her. 

“hey,” she placed herself next to her, “i’m sana.” 

the girl stared at her, “i’m jihyo.” 

“ah, so that’s your name.” sana smiled, attempting to act nicer as an apology for her bitchiness the night before. “so you’re friends with jeongyeon, right?” 

“yeah.” jihyo nodded, staring out at the sky. “we work together.” 

“cool, cool.” sana stretched her legs out, so that they now dangled out over their edge too. “so, uh, how long have you been, well, you know?” 

jihyo laughed, “do you mean how long have i been dead?” 

sana nodded, “i’m sorry, i just didn’t know how to phrase it.” 

“it’s fine,” jihyo dismissed it. “one year, seven months and twenty two days.” 

“damn, that’s a while.” 

“yeah, i know.” 

“not trying to be rude, but, like, why are you still here?” sana asked, hoping jihyo wouldn’t get mad at her being nosy. 

“i’m just not ready to go.” jihyo sighed, “i’m waiting for someone, i have to see them once before i go.” 

“oh, who?” 

“my ex.” jihyo’s eyes welled up. “i have to make sure they know that i love them before they move on. i don’t want them to die thinking i hated them.” 

“but, they’ll already be dead if they’re here.” 

“i know, smart ass.” jihyo snapped, “like properly dead. moved on to the afterlife. i want to make things right. i’m just one of those people who has to sort things out, i can’t deal with things being left unresolved.” 

“why’d you break up?” 

“i cheated.” jihyo let out a humourless laugh. “i fucking cheated.” 

“that’s a shitty thing to do.” 

“i know, i know.” jihyo huffed, “i wasn’t even drunk or anything, not that being drunk would excuse it. i just went and slept with someone else.” 

“did you tell you ex or did they find out?” 

“i told them.” jihyo sighed, “i’m not good at keeping secrets. and the crazy thing is that they said we could work through it! they didn’t want to leave me.” 

“i’m confused, why’d you break up then?” 

“because,” the tears now freely spilled down jihyo’s face. “because i got mad. i called them a pushover for not leaving me; i took out all my anger that i had with myself on cheating, on them. i ruined it.” 

“ouch.” 

“yeah.” jihyo wiped the tears on her face with her arm. “and when they dumped me, i told them i hated them and then i stormed out, got drunk, and got hit by car and now i’m fucking here.” 

“i got hit by a car too!” 

“jesus,” jihyo let out a faint laugh. “jeongyeon wasn’t lying when she said you could be happy about anything.” 

“well,” sana said, thoughtfully. “i think being happy about things that aren’t happy is good. it makes you feel less down, and you feel better inside and soon you’ll have forgotten about what made you sad.” 

“jesus, i didn’t know jeongyeon was getting fucked by einstein.” jihyo smiled, turning to face sana. “which reminds me, can you two keep it down?” 

“keep it down?” sana repeated. 

“yeah. all i could hear last night was jeongyeon going: ‘oh my god, right there’ constantly throughout the night.” jihyo laughed. 

“well that just means i’m really good in bed and that’s a good thing!” 

“jeongyeon moans so loudly though,” jihyo sighed, looking back up at the clouds. “but i guess you don’t mind, she’s a good kisser too.” 

“yeah she is,” sana froze, before registering what jihyo said. “wait what?” 

“she moans loudly? she’s a good kisser?” 

“yeah, how would you know if she’s a good kisser?” sana said defensively. 

“oh that,” jihyo laughed. “we kissed once. i was crying about my ex, she was crying about you, just felt right in the moment.” 

“oh.” 

“don’t be jealous!” jihyo elbowed sana. “trust me, i don’t want to get with jeongyeon, i’m waiting on the love of my life to come.” 

“well good.” sana pouted, “and besides, this isn’t the only place where everyone comes, right? what if your ex goes somewhere else?” 

“oh.” jihyo’s face darkened. “that. well, there’s a fifty-fifty chance of that happening but pretty much everyone who dies in korea comes here. so unless my ex has decided to move somewhere else then they’ll be coming here.” 

“well, what if they have to decided to move somewhere else? what will you do then?” 

“jesus,” jihyo sighed, “aren’t you supposed to be optimistic?” 

“well,” sana smiled. “i’m also very logical!” 

they made eye contact and both girls burst into laughter, drawing their legs back from the edge and standing up. 

“so have you decided what memory you’re gonna choose?” jihyo asked, opening the door that led back into the building. 

“nope.” sana sighed, “i’m not sure, at all. all i know is that jeongyeon’s in it.” 

“i can help?” jihyo offered, “i can go and get your file and we can look over some of your favourite memories.” 

“that’d be great.” 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

the two girls had been in jihyo’s room for a while now, looking over sana’s memories. she had picked out a few that she was considering choosing (her first date with jeongyeon, her first time with jeongyeon, the holiday with jeongyeon’s family, her and jeongyeon finding out they’d been accepted into the same university), but none of them really stood out to her. she wanted one were was the happiest: a memory that couldn’t be topped. 

“ugh, i wish we had got married or something.” sana sighed, “that would’ve been the perfect memory.” 

“well, why don’t you?” jihyo questioned, “what’s stopping you from getting married now?” 

“well, other than the fact that we’re dead,” sana explained, “i don’t have a ring, a venue or guests.” 

“yes, you do!” jihyo protested. “you can do it here, and the guests will be everyone who’s here; there you go, venue and guests sorted!” 

“what about a ring?” sana asked, “i can’t propose without a fucking ring.” 

“yeah, don’t know what you’re gonna do about that one, but ask around, maybe?” 

“uh, yes, has anyone got a spare wedding ring lying around?” sana sarcastically laughed. 

“well,” jihyo defended herself, “some people get buried wearing their wedding rings and i’m sure one of them would give it up. it would be a really nice way to end things for everyone. nobody’s ever been married here before so it’s be really nice.” 

“okay, maybe.” 

suddenly the door to the room swung open, and a gorgeous looking jeongyeon came in. she smiled at sana, pulling her in for a kiss before pushing herself into the middle of the two girls. 

“oh, are you choosing a memory?” jeongyeon flicked through the folder, full of sana’s memory. “oh, babe, there’s so many good ones to choose from.” 

“yeah i was thinking about—” sana began but jihyo pinched her back, instructing sana to not spill the beans about the whole wedding idea. 

“about,” sana recovered. “choosing the holiday? we had lots of fun there.” 

jihyo sent her a thumbs up and jeongyeon nodded, “yeah, it was fun. and also, i want is to choose the same memory.” 

“jesus,” jihyo stood up. “you’re cheesy.” 

“this is coming from the girl who wrote that cheesy message in the snow!” jeongyeon laughed, closing the folder. 

“i did it for you!” 

“still counts!” 

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

back in mrs. kim’s room, sana was excitedly telling her the wedding plan. 

“the only problem is that i don’t have a ring.” sana huffed, “and i have no idea where i’m going to get one. it’s not like i can go to the jewellers or something.” 

“well,” mrs. kim took off her glasses. “i have my own ring. and it’s not like i’m going to really be needing it, am i?” 

“oh my god!” sana shook her head, “i can’t take your ring, mrs. kim, its way too expensive, it’s, like, perfection and it’s yours, no way, oh my god.” 

“it’s not that expensive,” mrs. kim laughed, “my husband wasn’t that rich, it was from his grandmother and i was going to pass it on to my kids but they all thought it was ugly. so i’m giving it you — you’re like a daughter to me.” 

“mrs. kim!” sana teared up, “you’re being way too nice. i’m going to cry! i love you!” 

“i can’t wait for this wedding!” mrs. kim pulled sana in for a hug, “i love weddings!”

“let’s just hope jeongyeon says yes.” sana whispered. 

“why wouldn’t she?” mrs. kim asked, “she’s crazy in love with you!” 

“i don’t know,” sana but her lip, “i have a feeling.” 

“well, maybe, bring up the idea of marriage to her,” mrs. kim explained, “and see how she feels?” 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

“marriage?” jeongyeon looked confused, “why the fuck are you talking about marriage?” 

“i’m just saying,” sana pouted. “wouldn’t it be nice to get married? like i’d be your wife, that’s cool, right?” 

“yeah,” jeongyeon nodded. “but we can’t get married here. and we won’t. i want our families to be there, friends, and that’s not possible. so i don’t want a wedding.” 

“well, of course they can’t be here.” sana retorted. “unless you want them to die. but what do you mean ‘we won’t’? aren’t you even gonna think about the idea?” 

“of course i don’t want them to fucking die!” jeongyeon shook her head, “but when i pictured us getting married, i always see our family and friends there, you know, everyone who loves us, just watching us on the happiest day of our lives. so having it without them would feel wrong, almost disrespectful.” 

“disrespectful?” sana echoed, “are you kidding? getting married would be our happiest memory, right? and there’s no way we can get our family and friends here, so we should just do it. they’d want us too!” 

“that’s like, eloping.” 

“eloping?” sana rolled her eyes, “i’m pretty sure you were the one that wanted to elope when we went on holiday.” 

“yeah and that was a stupid idea.” jeongyeon looked annoyed now, “i didn’t even want to get married, it was a joke.” 

“a joke?” tears welled up in sana’s eyes. “you were looking up places we got get married, for fuck’s sake! if i had said yes then, what would you have done? gone ‘oh sorry, i don’t want to marry you, lol’?” 

“you wouldn’t have said yes, so i didn’t need to worry.” 

“of course i would have said yes!” sana protested. 

“no you wouldn’t have, you were too immature, you’d have laughed it off.” 

“you think i’m immature?” sana tilted her head to the side. 

“no, i thought you were.” jeongyeon corrected her, “i don’t think you’re immature, anymore.”

“oh, really? i’m sure you do!” 

“why are we having this argument, anyways?” jeongyeon asked. “i’ve got better things to do.” 

“so talking about getting married to me isn’t important?” sana laughed, “thanks babe.” 

“honestly, what has got into you? why are you obsessed with the idea of us getting married?” jeongyeon eyed her, cautiously. 

“because i wanted to ask you to marry me! i thought it would have been the best memory for both us. everyone says their wedding day is the best day, so i thought, why not? we don’t have the chance to live again and get married, so why not get married here? jihyo was gonna help me out and mrs. kim was gonna give me her ring. i had an idea about how i was gonna propose to you and everything!” 

“well, it’s a good thing you didn’t propose.” jeongyeon hissed, “because i would have said no.” 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

jeongyeon was a shit liar. she would not have said no, she would most definitely have said yes. but the thing was that she was planning to ask sana to marry her. so when sana bought up marriage, she got very nervous and very defensive, very quickly. 

she did not mean any of things she’d said; she thought it was a great idea to get married here and choose it as their memory to relive forevermore. but she really wanted to ask sana to marry her; she’d been wanting to do this since the holiday. she had been deadly serious about eloping — but she knew sana had thought it was a joke. 

now, she was alone in her office, crying into her arms. all she ever wanted was to be happy with sana, but things never seemed to work out the way jeongyeon wanted them too. her heart hurt, even though that was physically impossible, and she wanted nothing more to curl up in sana’s arms. 

the door to her office opened, and jihyo quickly ran over to her side. her arms went around her and soon, jeongyeon was sobbing into jihyo’s arms. 

“i m-messed it up, again.” 

“no, you didn’t.” jihyo mumbled, “you just need to explain yourself to sana. she’ll completely understand.” 

neither of them knew that sana was standing outside the office, watching the two in their (platonic, obviously, but not that sana cared) embrace. she thought back to this morning, when jihyo had told her that jeongyeon was a good kisser. maybe this is why she didn’t want to get married?, sana thought, she wanted to stay her with jihyo instead. but then the logical side of her brain came along, reminding her that jihyo had given her the wedding plan initially. why would she do that if she harboured secret feelings towards jeongyeon?

but then sana remembered that time when her best friend, momo, liked a girl in their dance class called mina. and even though momo had a massive crush on mina, she helped mina get with her crush. so it was possible, and sana had no doubt in her mind that jihyo had some feelings for jeongyeon. 

she was totally wrong. 

but being the petty, dramatic girl she is, she stormed into the office, catching the two girls off guard. jeongyeon began wiping her eyes and sniffing, while jihyo smiled at sana. 

“hmph.” sana mumbled.

“hey, b-babe.” jeongyeon smiled. “can we talk?” 

“do you call jihyo babe too?” 

“what?” jihyo and jeongyeon both shouted. 

“answer the question.” sana crossed her arms. 

“trust me, sana, you’ve got it all wrong.” jihyo stood up, “jeongyeon is my friend, nothing more, i was just comforting her.” 

“sure, sure.” sana laughed, “gonna spin some story about how you’re still in love with your ex? i really believed you.” 

“i wasn’t lying!” 

“and you’re the one who suggested getting married to me!” sana snapped, “but you knew jeongyeon didn’t want to marry me, it was just a ploy to get her closer to you!” 

“jesus,” jihyo’s eyes widened. “how high are you?” 

“i’m not fucking high!” sana swore, “i know exactly what’s going on.” 

“sana, you’re wrong.” jeongyeon spoke up, “th reason i was so upset about the whole marriage thing is cause i wanted to ask you to marry me, i thought of it last night. and it just annoyed me when you said it, because i wanted to surprise you.” 

“you’re a shit liar, jeongyeon.” sana huffed. 

“i’m not lying, it’s the truth.” jeongyeon walked over to her, “you’ve really got it all wrong.” 

“oh.” sana was quiet, “so jihyo doesn’t like you and you don’t like her?” 

“no,” jeongyeon laughed. “i love you, idiot.” 

“i’m sorry.” sana looked down at the grounds, “sorry for assuming the worst, guys, i’m really sorry.” 

“it’s okay.” jeongyeon hugged her. 

“group hug!” jihyo screamed, wrapping her arms around the two girls, as they all laughed. 

“i’m such an idiot, sometimes.” sana giggled. 

“jesus, did you just figure that out?” jihyo and jeongyeon burst into laughter at jihyo’s statement. 

“shut up, jihyo!”


	4. Chapter 4

04: THURSDAY

 

even though neither of them had proposed to each other yet, wedding preparations were already underway. everyone seemed to be getting involved, arguing about whether the flowers should be imported or taken from the garden, whether the reception should be held in the hall or outside. jihyo was running around, dragging mrs. kim with her, telling everyone what they should be doing. jeongyeon was being critical of the everything and sana? well, sana was outside, on the roof, relaxing. 

“sana!” she heard her name being called by what sounded like an annoyed jihyo, “where the fuck are you?” 

“here!” she shouted back, pulling the sunglasses off her face. “what do you want?” 

“what do i want?” jihyo’s nostrils were flaring, “i’m here organising your wedding, and you’re sunbathing!” 

“i’m not sunbathing!” sana argued, “it’s too cold to do that, i’m just relaxing.” 

“well, i don’t care,” jihyo snapped, “get off your ass, we’ve got a problem.” 

“ugh, what?” 

“jeongyeon wants white flowers but you said you wanted red ones, and she won’t compromise!” jihyo sighed, yanking sana up. “and, in my correct opinion, white flowers will not work. so come and talk to her, because she won’t listen to me.” 

“leave it to me!” sana opened the door and bounded down the stairs into the hall. 

jeongyeon was sitting in the middle of it, arguing with mrs. kim and her friends about something. she had a pout on her face, and kept on running her hands through her hair. sana stopped to stare at her, taking in all her beauty before jihyo twanged the back of her head. 

“you’ve got forever to stare at her, so get it moving.” the younger girl hissed, guiding her towards jeongyeon. 

“hey, babe.” she chirped, “what’s going on?” 

“please tell these ladies that we should get white flowers.” jeongyeon sighed, “nobody will listen to me.” 

“the thing is,” sana bit her lip. “i think you’re wrong, we all think that red flowers will look nicer than white.” 

“not you too!” jeongyeon groaned, “okay, you can control the flowers, but i decide everything else!” 

“thank you!” sana smiled but jeongyeon just huffed in reply, so she laughed, and used her pinky finger to push up jeongyeon’s chin and pull her in for a kiss. 

“anyways,” sana pulled away, “i’m back to relaxing. call me when this is all done.” 

“are you not gonna help at all?” jeongyeon sighed, “i’d like your input.” 

“no,” sana shook her head. “i’ll say something, you’ll disagree, and we’ll go with what you want, so there’s no point. but, i know you’ll choose great things.” 

“you’re right!” jeongyeon laughed and turned back to mrs. kim & co., “i’m thinking lace dresses?” 

sana walked back off, “ciao, i love you all!” 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

momo was very, very confused. her last memory was of tripping at the train station, right next to the tracks. things went black after that, and now she had awoke standing in front of large building in the middle of nowhere. was this a dream or what?, she thought, where am i? 

she decided to walk towards the building, there was no other option. it was old, and it gave her the creeps, sending shivers down her shoulder. she heard noise coming from it, chatter and laughter, so she assumed that there were people inside. 

stepping in, she made eye contact with a lady, wearing glasses. her eyes were cold, her skin an unearthly pale, and momo thought she was gorgeous. she smiled at her, hoping the stranger would smile back, but to her disappointment, she didn’t. 

“hi.” she mumbled, sounding meek and shy. 

“hey.” the woman replied, and momo felt her cheeks flame up. “i’m nayeon.” 

“i’m momo.” she introduced herself, bowing slightly. 

“i know who you are,” nayeon smirked, “let’s go into my office, okay?” 

“h-how do you know who i am?” momo followed her, as nayeon unlocked the door to her office. 

“sit down.” nayeon pointed to the chair in the middle of the room, “and i’ll explain everything.” 

“you’ve died.” she began as soon as momo sat. “you were in an accident, slipped, fell onto the train tracks and were electrocuted to death. this is where you go once you’ve died. here, we help you choose your happiest memory, and then recreate it, and you get to live in the memory forevermore. this will be finished by this time next week and you’ll have moved on.” 

“wow.” momo was frozen, “that’s fucking....crazy.” 

“yeah,” nayeon laughed, “you could say that. but anyways, i’ve got your folder here and we can look through some memories together, okay?” 

“i’ve already chosen.” momo confidently announced. 

“really?” nayeon’s eyes widened. “well, what memory?” 

“this one, right here.” 

“huh?” nayeon asked, confused. 

“meeting you.” momo laughed, “it’s my best memory. meeting the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen.” 

nayeon was pink, “i-i think you’re wrong, and this isn’t a joke, so please focus on choosing a memory.” 

“does everyone come here?” momo interrupted. 

“yes, everyone who died in korea, anyways.” 

“do you know my friend, sana, then?” momo asked, “no, wait, that’s a dump question, thousands of people must come here, sorry.” 

“i do know sana.” nayeon smiled, “she’s here and so is jeongyeon, as well as mrs. kim.” 

“bloody hell.” momo hissed, “everyone seems to be here, wow.” 

“yeah, you could say that.” nayeon laughed, “want me to take you to sana’s room?” 

“i’d rather go to your room.” momo stood up, looking down at nayeon. 

“funny.” nayeon shook her head, but her tinged cheeks gave her away. “now, follow me.” 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

“who is it?” sana asked, opening her eyes, to the sound of a knock on her door. “come in.” 

“hey.” the door opened to reveal nayeon and momo. “look who i bought in.” 

“momo?” sana screeched, jumping off the bed. “oh my god, momo!” 

the two girls jumped into each other’s arms, both bursting into tears. momo and sana had been friends since nursery; they lived in the same apartment block (literally living across the hall from each other), went to the same schools and spent nearly all of the time together. they didn’t consider each other as friends, at this point it felt like they were sisters. 

“i have missed you beyond belief.” momo wiped her eyes, tightening her grip on sana. “so much, oh my god.” 

“what happened?” sana asked, “how did you, you know, get here?” 

“my clumsiness strikes again!” momo laughed, “tripped at the train station, you can guess what happened next.” 

“i always said your clumsiness’d kill you one day,” sana giggled. “i’m honestly never wrong.” 

“hey, nay—” momo turned around but nayeon had silently disappeared. “shit, where did she go?”

“she’s a busy woman.” sana shrugged, “why’d you want her?” 

“other than the fact that she’s stunning?” 

“you’ve been here for a minute and you’ve already got a massive crush on someone?” sana’s eyes widened. “you really don’t stop do you?” 

“nope.” momo sat down on the bed, “that nayeon is something else.” 

“this is really good timing, you know.” sana day next to her. 

“what do you mean?” 

“well, me and jeongyeon are getting married this week and i really needed a chief bridesmaid and here you are.” sana smiled, “great timing, always knew i could rely on you, momo.” 

“jeongyeon? marriage? isn’t she dead? what? bridesmaid?” momo screeched, “what?” 

“yeah,” sana replied, nonchalantly. “some people here don’t choose memories, right, they’re not ready to move on. so they help people choose memories. jeongyeon did that. and then i turned up, we argued, got back together, and now we’re getting married. gotta propose soon though.” 

“fucking hell.” momo swore, “that is something else. but did you forgive her? you know, for disappearing randomly like that and avoiding you and smashing your heart and leaving me to deal with the mess that you became?” 

“of course, i forgave her.” sana rolled her eyes, “would be marrying her if i didn’t?” 

“you do make a lot of stupid decisions,” momo fired back. “and she did really hurt you. all you did was cry, you became so quiet and you never left your room. are you sure you can just get over that?” 

“i know that she fucked up,” sana sighed. “but she’s understood and apologised and she had a lot on her mind.” 

“i have a lot on my mind, i don’t just ditch my girlfriend and break her heart without an explanation.” 

“yeah,” sana was annoyed now. “but she’s apologised, and we have moved on.” 

“well if you’ve moved on,” momo laughed. “why do you sound so defensive?” 

“because you’re fucking annoying me, that’s why.” sana harshly spat out, “just mind your own business, okay? i get that things didn’t work out with you and mina but it doesn’t mean that me and jeongyeon can’t be happy. i’m over it, and you should get over it too.” 

sana knew she had overstepped the mark. but, in her defence, momo was being really annoying; she loved jeongyeon and she knew that the older girl hadn’t meant to hurt her. when jeongyeon had disappeared without an explanation, sana had become numb. every minute of her day was spent crying. she barely ate, barely slept; she became a shell of the girl she used to be. the only person who was always there for her, was momo. 

it was momo who came over everyday, momo who bought over her schoolwork when she missed school, momo who filled her on everything that was going on in the outside world, momo who made sure she ate, momo who tried to help her move on and see that there was life after jeongyeon. and here she was throwing it all back in her face. 

maybe, the logical side of her brain told her, you’re upset with momo because you know she’s right. maybe you haven’t fully moved on, you’ve forgiven jeongyeon but inside you still have some resentment towards her because of what she did. and now you’re just jumping into the idea of getting married to her, and ignoring the part of you that still hurts. she ignored you for months, broke your heart, and you can’t just fix that in a few days. you need more time, and you have all the time in the world. you don’t have to move on into the after life now, you don’t have to choose a memory, you can stay here until you sort things out, and when you’re ready and comfortable, you can get married and move on. 

sana decided to listen to the logical side of her brain for once. 

“i’m sorry, momo.” she mumbled, “i think you’re right. i’m not over how she hurt me yet, i need more time, it still hurts.” 

“that’s okay,” momo pulled the younger girl in, “jeongyeon will understand. don’t feel bad, okay?” 

“what if she doesn’t?” 

“then, maybe, she’s the not one.” momo replied, “and that’s okay, too. maybe your soulmate is someone else. but i know jeongyeon, and she always apologises when she’s wrong and takes the blame. so, trust me, okay? momo’ll never let you down.” 

“i love you.” sana buried herself into momo’s chest. 

“i love myself too, hehe.” momo laughed, as sana punched her. 

“way to ruin the moment, idiot.” 

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

sana and jeongyeon had finally spoke. well, sana had done all the talking. she explained how she felt, how she hadn’t fully moved on and needed more time. jeongyeon had stared into sana’s eyes the entire time, which was completely unnerving but at least sana knew that she was listening. 

“so,” sana sensed that jeongyeon wasn’t going to talk without a push from her. “you gonna say anything?” 

“i-i,” jeongyeon began, sighing. “well, for starters, i’m sorry.” 

“it’s fine.” 

“don’t say that,” jeongyeon snapped. “i mean, it’s not fine. what i did was inexcusable. really fucking bad. such a bitchy thing to do. i’m a bitch, aren’t i? god, you must hate me. we’re never gonna move on from this, are we? oh my god, everyone must think i’m the devil incarnate or something. i can’t believe i ever did that to you. what was i thinking? how could you get back with someone who did that to you?”

“jeongyeon, calm down.” sana scooter closer to her. “breathe, okay? don’t say those things. you’re not a bitch or the devil incarnate. you’re just someone who made a mistake. we all make mistakes. i have already forgiven you, okay? i love you. i just don’t want to rush into us getting married when a part of me is still upset about what happened. but when i get over that, when we talk about it, then we’ll get married. everything will be perfect, okay? don’t beat yourself up over something you can’t fix.” 

jeongyeon began to sob, grabbing her pillow and using it as a rag to cry into it. sana’s arms enclosed themselves around her, and she mumbled sweet nothings into jeongyeon’s ear. eventually, jeongyeon stopped crying and sana realised that she’d fallen asleep. she tucked her in, and sat on the edge of the bed, watching her. 

jeongyeon always fell asleep after crying, it was one of the little, cute things about her that sana loved. she laughed as she remembered that time where they saw a sad movie at the cinema and jeongyeon had bawled her eyes out, fallen asleep halfway through the movie. sana shook her when the movie ended but the older girl just wouldn’t wake up; it had taken four staff members to eventually get her awake and out of the cinema. 

a piece of jeongyeon’s hair fell in front of her eyes and sana pushed it away, staring down at the girl. everything about her was perfect, she thought, she was the definition of perfection. and sana knew that she was the love of her life, her soulmate, she was the one. but did sana love her enough to put the past in the past and forgot how badly she had hurt her? 

sana thought back to all the times where she’d hurt jeongyeon. the older girl had ignored for her a bit, and then forgiven her. no matter what she had done. jeongyeon had apologised and tried to make it up to her, and sana knew that jeongyeon only ever wanted her to be happy. 

sana remembered what her therapist had told her about growth and moving on; by moving on, sana was releasing the anger and hurt and becoming a better, positive person. she was looking towards the future, instead of letting the past dictate her life. she wasn’t sure if those were her therapist’s exact words but she knew it was something along those lines — but the message was still them same. sana wasn’t going to let one mistake cloud her decision, and stop from her from marrying her soulmate.

so sana chose to move on. 

she was going to marry jeongyeon this week and as a matter of fact, she was going to propose tonight. all she needed was a ring and she knew exactly where to get one. 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

“where are you taking me?” jeongyeon asked sana, “because wherever it is, it’s freezing cold.” 

“just be patient and all will reveal itself.” sana laughed, “and i did tell you to bring a jacket, you just don’t listen.” 

“because i thought we were going to be staying inside the building.” jeongyeon pouted, “you weren’t very specific.” 

“well, we’re here!” sana removed her hands from jeongyeon’s eyes. “surprise!” 

written in the snow were the words: jeongyeon, i love you, will you marry me? similar to the message that jeongyeon had done for sana, earlier on the week. estatic, and slightly shocked, the older girl around to see sana bending on one knee, holding a gleaming ring in her hand. 

“yoo jeongyeon,” sana’s eyes were teary, just like jeongyeon’s. “i love you. more than anything else. you’re constantly on my mind, every single minute of the day. you’re the one i want to spend forever with. the one that i want to have a future with, even though technically we can’t do that since we’re dead and all, but you get what i mean. anyways, you’re the one that makes me smile, the one that makes my heart race, even though that’s impossible too. see? you manage to do the things that defy the laws of nature. you’re the one i want, you’re my soulmate, and i want you to be mine forever. so yoo jeongyeon, will you make me the happiest girl in the world, and say yes to marrying me?” 

“yes!” jeongyeon screamed, jumping up and down and sana stood up and jumped with her. “put the ring on me!” 

“wait,” sana froze. “which hand do i put it on, again?” 

“are you serious?” jeongyeon couldn’t believe sana. 

“kidding, duh!” sana laughed, “of course i know! i asked mrs. kim just to make sure!” 

jeongyeon laughed at her cuteness and pulled her in for a kiss, wrapping her arms around her waist. the scene was picture perfect and in one window three silhouettes could be seen: mrs. kim, jihyo and momo; all jumping up and down in delight. another silhouette was watching from another room; nayeon smiled to herself as she watched the couple, before closing her window. 

“did you write that in the snow yourself?” jeongyeon asked, staring at the massive message. 

“why, of course!” sana smirked proudly. 

“don’t lie.” 

“jihyo and momo did it for me,” sana giggled, “i was busy getting that speech ready.” 

“it was a lovely speech, babe.” jeongyeon kissed sana’s forehead. 

“hmm,” sana said thoughtfully. “i think it could’ve been better but nonetheless.” 

“jesus,” jeongyeon’s eyes were wide. “nonetheless? where are you getting these words from? you sound like my grandma.” 

“well, i spent most of this afternoon with mrs. kim and her buddies, trying to remember which hand and finger the ring goes on, and they speak like that so i must’ve picked it up from them.” sana shrugged. 

“you spent an entire afternoon remembering which hand and finger to put a ring on?” jeongyeon laughed, “you’re something else.” 

“shut up!” sana laughed, making a snowball and throwing it at jeongyeon. 

a snow-fight ensued and the two girls made it back into the building, covered head to toe in snow. staring at each other, they burst into laughter, until sana pulled jeongyeon in for a kiss. 

“i love you.” she mumbled against her lips. 

“i love you too.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (since the book is coming to an end, the chapters will be shorter! also it turns out everything that happened in the previous chapters was from a dream! see you in the next chapter xx)

05: FRIDAY 

 

“good morning!” sana awoke to mrs. kim’s cheery voice. “you’re getting married today!” 

sana grunted in response, stretching her arms out, as she sat up. it took a few minutes before it dawned on her that she was getting married to the love of her life. a smile broke out across her face, and she leaped up out of bed. 

“oh my god!” sana shrieked, “where’s jeongyeon?” 

“in her office, but you can’t see her.” mrs. kim sternly shook her head. “she’s adding some stuff to your dress, last minute, and she doesn’t want you to see it.” 

“oh.” sana pouted. “i guess i’ll see her soon then.” 

“now let’s get you cleaned up and get your makeup on!” mrs. kim clapped her hands together, “i do love weddings.” 

sana giggled, “thanks for everything, mrs. kim. you’re honestly the best.” 

“don’t thank me,” mrs. kim smiled, “that’s what i’m here for.” 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

“give me the fucking palette.” jihyo snapped at momo, as sana sat in between them, half of her face covered in makeup. “you’re not doing it properly.” 

“what the heck do you know about makeup?” momo retorted, “let me do it, i’m nearly done!” 

“she’s getting married!” jihyo rolled her eyes, “her makeup should be light and simple, not whatever you’re going for now!” 

“what’s wrong with this?” momo screeched. 

“what’s wrong with it?” jihyo echoed, “everything!”

sana rolled her eyes; the two had been arguing for the past twenty minutes and although it was amusing at first, she now found it very annoying. the nerves were starting to catch up with her and this increased when she remembered that she hadn’t even written her vows. 

drumming up a few ideas in her head, she tried to drown out the arguing but it became impossible when both girls started shouting at their top of their voices. 

“shut up!” she yelled, immediately silencing them. “i won’t wear any makeup at all, okay? i’m beautiful without it and it’ll stop you two arguing.” 

“but you’re getting married.” momo laughed, “jeongyeon is expecting you too look stunning.” 

“are you saying i look ugly without makeup?” sana asked, staring at momo through the mirror in front of her. 

“that’s exactly what i’m saying.” momo laughed, “now let me get to work.” 

jihyo huffed behind them. 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

in another room, jeongyeon was editing her vows. she wanted them to be perfection, the best vows ever; she’d set the highest standards for herself and was really looking forward to hearing sana’s vows. 

but then knowing sana, she’d probably forgotten to even write her vows. the idea of this irked jeongyeon, she needed everything at this wedding to go perfectly.

“breathe.” she told herself, “everything is going to be perfect. stop stressing.” 

she had the flowers sorted, the dresses sorted, her makeup was done perfectly, so everything was going well. all she had to do was finish off these vows and then she’d be done. she had nothing to worry about, anymore. 

or did she? 

jeongyeon’s heart felt weird. she was starting to have second thoughts; was marriage the best idea? she had spent months apart from sana, they had grown and changed in so ways; maybe they weren’t right for each other anymore. 

or maybe it was just nerves. everyone got nerves on their wedding day, right? but jeongyeon didn’t think these were nerves; maybe she had cold feet. 

all of a sudden she found it hard to breathe, although that was impossible. her first instinct was to get out; get out of here. things were moving way too fast and she had made the biggest mistake by asking sana to marry her. a part of her felt like she only proposed to ease the guilt she’d been feeling since they had broken up. 

her breathing became wild and soon, everything had gone black. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

jeongyeon jumped up. she’d had the strangest dream. something about an afterlife, her breaking up with sana, and them getting married. she took a few minutes to control her breathing and couldn’t shake off the feeling of the dream being real. her hands grazed across her face, and to her surprise, she wasn’t wearing makeup like she had been in the dream. 

next to her, taking up half the bed, was sana. she was twisting and turning in her sleep, mumbling jeongyeon’s name. seconds later, she jumped up, her breathing heavy. her hands immediately searched for jeongyeon. 

“hey, hey, what’s wrong?” jeongyeon asked, trying to calm sana down. 

“bad d-dream.” sana mumbled, “you ditched me at our wedding. and we were both dead. it was weird, really weird.” 

jeongyeon froze, had they had the same dream? her heart begun to race; this was freaky and totally impossible. and besides, she told herself, she’d never have ditched sana at their wedding. 

“i think we had the same dream.” jeongyeon mumbled. 

“with some lady called mrs. kim, right?” sana’s eyes were wide. “and momo and jihyo!” 

“yeah.” jeongyeon’s voice was quiet. “they were in the dream too.” 

“fucking hell.” sana hissed, “what’s going on?” 

before jeongyeon could answer a voice shouted down the room, “shut up, i’m trying to sleep!” 

the two girls rolled their eyes and got back underneath the covers, wrapping their arms around each other. 

“it was probably just a random dream,” sana nodded. “let’s just sleep, okay, i love you.” 

“i love you too.” jeongyeon mumbled, closing her eyes and returning to dream land.


End file.
